The code to have sustainable and joyful relationships is to stop expecting too much from others.
When you expect things, you want the outcomes to be exactly how you pictured them. This leaves no space for possible alternatives. Excessive expectations result in disappointments, and you must be wary of them. You need to understand that we cannot force people to act how we expect them to. Controlling everything is nearly impossible
Imagine how life would be if you put an end to your expectations and embrace the positivity that comes your way.
Here is a list of 10 things you need to stop expecting from the world that can lead you to live a much happier life:
1. Giving you validation
You don’t need others to tell your worth. Don’t expect them to value you when they are in search of their own. Their opinion on you shouldn’t be something you require to go on in life. People are too busy with their own lives, constantly engaged in changing the world how they expect it to be.
The people you look up to aren’t even available for you; physically or emotionally. How they treat you is confined to their own assumptions. It has nothing to do with your self-worth.
2. Acknowledging your efforts
It is not necessary for you to get appreciated by others. People may or may not show gratitude for all the good things you do. But take note, if you are expecting them to praise you for your deeds, there’s a possibility they may let you down., so stop expecting.
When doing something, refrain yourself from the thought that people will acknowledge it. Do it for yourself. Make yourself happy. Appreciate yourself for being kind, for being empathetic, for letting go, for overcoming the bad days. Treat yourself. You deserve it.
What others think about you should be the last thing on your mind. Value yourself. Give yourself pep-talks in the mirror. Tell yourself that you can do this! Own your body, your confidence, your actions. Just remember, you’re worth it!
3. Being your motivation
There is no one who can be on your side 24/7 and tell you to buck up. Your friends might be there at a certain point to cheer you up when you are feeling low, but they cannot make you love your life and live to the fullest. You need to help yourself. Set targets and work to achieve them.
You need to work on yourself as nobody is going to do that for you. When setting targets, it is not necessary for them to be something huge. Set minor goals. Their purpose is to keep you going. Stop expecting for a godfather to enter your life one day, just to shower you with motivation. That is not going to happen. You need to be there for yourself.
Start now! Hold on to something that can help you kickstart the journey. Keep going. The world is not going to stop. Start racing your mind. Feel the adrenaline rush. You’ll see everything changing around you.
4. Understanding your perspective
No one knows what you’ve been through. Experiences can change one’s perspective on life. Every single person on this planet has a different view on different things.
Therefore, expecting everyone to understand how you feel or who you are as a person can lead you to disappointments. Where some people may relate to you, some may not.
it’s high time to let go of other people’s opinions and perspectives. It’s okay to think differently. It’s okay to have contrasting perspectives.
5. Giving out positive vibes
You need to keep your eyes open for positivity and opportunities in all aspects of your life. Stop looking for what’s wrong with the things you have, and start appreciating the good.
Focus on the voices around you, they’re just whining about everything, blaming others for their failures. Don’t follow these voices. Make your own way towards a positive outlook. Concentrate on the best.
6. Providing a sense of fulfillment
There are no superheroes in real life. No one can complete your life except for you. The search for that one ‘perfect” person who can tick mark your checklist may not even exist.
So what is fulfillment? Look it up! It means the joy and contentment you get as a reward of developing your personality, and abilities to the fullest.
Once you get a sense of fulfillment, you can indulge in sustainable relationships that will bring you all the pleasure. You need to treat yourself in the way you want others to behave with you.
7. Bringing joy
People can bring a spark of happiness in your life for a meantime, but if you don’t put in your own efforts to get out of the gloom and see the brightness, no one can force it on you. Appreciate the little things that you have in your life. They matter the most.
An Afghani prisoner used to live in a tiny, boring cell with a concrete floor and an uncomfortable bed. The cell had a small window at a height from where he cannot even see the outside. That window allowed a beam of sunlight into the cell. Every day, he used to be excited about that morning light and be thankful for having it.
It was fall, he was lying on the damp floor, shivering because of the cold breeze that was entering his cell through the window. In the meantime, a red leaf made its way into the cell with the breeze. He picked it up and kept it hidden from the jailers. He knew that they’ll take away this little bundle of joy from him. He used to take it out every day to have a look at its bright color.
As time passed by, the leaf started losing its brightness. The red turned into deep rust. But it was still the only color he had around until he found a blue string lying at the corner under his bed. He hid it away too.
These were the only joys he had in life – a piece of thread, a wilted leaf, and a ray of sunlight. These little things gave him hope until he finally ran away from the prison. now think about it, you have so much, better than many. Just look around, you’ll see your little bundles of joy.
8. Acting crazy with you
Keep your inner kid alive. Try to have moments in life where it’s okay to be silly, carefree, and sloppy. You need to loosen up a little or else life will be too boring. It’s so fun to act a little crazy with friends, but no one is there for you all the time.
Put on some upbeat music. Dance by yourself on your favorite song. Bake a cake. Make a mess. Sing out loud. Twirl in front of the mirror. Make funny faces to random kids. Jump on the bed – just don’t hurt yourself.
Acting foolish is fun. Try it. You must be tired of behaving well in society, give it a break.
9. Resolving your problems
Everyone has problems. People can suggest possible solutions, but we need to understand that we are low-key responsible for creating those problems. So, we have got to sort them out as we initiated them in the first place.
Ponder over your past problems. Did anyone ever give you a useful suggestion to resolve them? They don’t work out most of the time. You don’t need others to detangle your life. Though there is nothing wrong with seeking advice. Get some wise words, make the decision that you feel is right and get over it.
10. Not judging you
Growing up in an environment where negatively prevails sure has some consequences on us. We are skeptical of compliments. We believe that people judge us all the time.
We lose faith in kindness. We think of people doing nice things to have some secret agenda. When someone smiles at us, we check if we have something on our face, when they may be just greeting us.
If someone compliments us, we ponder over their possible propaganda. Little do we understand that we’re getting what we want to get.
A social experiment conducted by Oprah Winfrey involved beautiful women who were made to have fake scars drawn on their faces. They were asked to walk down the street to see how people are going to react to the scars. During a “final check” before they headed out, they removed all of the scars without telling the women.
The women went out with their flawless faces. Once they returned, they reported that people looked at them disgustingly, judged them for their looks, and pointed and laughed at them. Even though they had nothing on their faces, they expected people to behave negatively and that’s exactly how it turned out.
Throw all the negativity away. It’s high time. Stop expecting from others. Live your life the way you want it. Learn to forgive yourself for the past. Look forward to the future. Think about it! How many people told you that you cannot do it and you still managed to pull it off? Don’t let people decide for you. Focus on the parts you need improvement. Be in charge of your life. Be your own leader. stop expecting and You can do this!