If you happen to be someone who always gives more, it takes less. Finds it difficult to give as much importance and peace to your own self as compared to others, and fails to ask for the same in return, then this article is for you!
The role of Trust and self-reliance.
As media has taken a significant toll on our lives, along with fast-paced technology, We adhere to a competitive lifestyle each and every single day. How does trust play a role? How do we rely on our own selves when we can’t rely on those around us?
Are we internally tuned and synced, or we are just passing by like an hourglass constantly ticking? Have we become the ideas and images we see in our everyday lives?
Reflection never comes easy, but as we take the journey to self-reliance we must learn to accept that we’re only human to have flaws.
BAD RELATIONSHIPS = BAD EXPERIENCES.
What damages our self-dependency on a serious level is obviously the answer we all know. BAD RELATIONSHIPS= BAD EXPERIENCES. How do we end up in bad relationships? Or, how do we take the results as”Bad”? Most certainly because we didn’t receive what we had expected in return to all we had invested emotionally, physically, intellectually perhaps even financially.
How does self-dependency or trust create the link? ”We settle for the love and peace we think we deserve” (quoted from Perks of being a wallflower). But let’s not get carried away with dramatization just because it gives as self-defense.
BAD RELATIONSHIPS = BAD EXPERIENCES may not just refer to “bad partners” this can be stemmed from the relationships we have with our family, or even close friends perhaps even the internal self-conflicts we tend to possess which we impose upon our partners. Not knowing, or understanding the imaginative haven we expect out of the relationship, due to lack of good parenting or quality friendships.
We often create a vicious cycle psychologically, in our heads emphasizing deliberately or not- deliberately what will happen next if the other party does not perform according to our “ideas” or “expectations” this does not mean we are solely responsible for the pain inflicted upon us, betrayal shouldn’t be personal. Betrayal should never be personal.
Betrayal, cheating, or poor moral conduct are always established due to foolish choices, performed by those that hurt us. Thus when they do so, we tend to compare or develop a sense of “lacking” within ourselves. We take it really personally ignoring the fact that, hurting us wasn’t the choice made by our own self, obviously, it can never be, and it was a poor pattern developed by the other.
Betrayal must never be personal, and evolution through, to achieve greatness and self-sufficiency or even vice versa must never be stopped because of the Bad relationships= Bad experiences! One needs to break free from cycle, yes extracting the juice of wisdom tastes beneficial along the way, be sure to understand yourself fully before you refuse a relationship or a loved one.
hurting us wasn’t the choice made by our own self, obviously, it can never be, and it was a poor pattern developed by the other.
Mend your relationship with yourself.
As hard as it is to accept the fact that how we perform with external relationships, is a result of the relationship we have with our own self. The more we compromise over our own self, settle for a lesser vision, poor moral values, the weaker we act for others, the more likely we’re to be hurt. Now, this does not mean we bash our family or loved ones over unnecessary drama or expectations, this refers to our core values and principles. Standing up for yourself, embracing your goals be it personal or material.
KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT = KNOWING WHO YOU ARE.
Self-exploration or knowledge of own self may be a never-ending journey, but once we become true to our own selves, we enter a void that was hidden, but this time we become our own saviors to fill that void with faith, love, and aspirations.
It is never an easy road, it’s uncomfortable and it’s bumpy. But taking command over those bumps and slowly acknowledging what makes us who we are.
Hang on the habits we had developed that we never truly wanted but must have been adapted due to peer or family pressure and step by step work on them. Once you start to take initiatives with yourself, the level of dependency you’ll create on yourself will be amazing.
You’ll find sides of yourself that won’t look pleasant or feel reassuring but those are the golden areas that will teach you where you stand in your own life. You’ll know what you really want which will beautifully respond to who you really are. Let yourself be that magnificent force that will drive you out of the dark loopholes and give you peace. It won’t happen overnight but it is a daily practice and once you start to witness the greatness that fibs within you, you’ll become energy that truly inspires.
INNER SUCCESS COMES FROM KNOWING WHEN AND HOW TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST.
How to put yourself first? May look all fancy, but believe me it doesn’t happen easily. From all those that depend on us, and around us. Taking yourself out of that pickle is conflicting. It may not be as conflicting for our own selves but, more for those around us. And this is where you need to play boldly.
Be bold for the right reasons.
The bold persona we’re referring to here isn’t the kind you do on weekends when you get your mani-pedis done, or spend a night playing your favorite games on your own. Not where you become overly blunt and hurt those around you. No! This is where you’re asked to give unnecessarily and you should stop. KNOW WHEN TO STOP, YOU’RE NOT A RIVER OF FAVORS.
Stop overdoing yourself, because then you’re blaming the society and those around you directly or indirectly for halting your growth and peace. It’s been your choice to help because you obviously want to feel ”involved” ”, loved”, ”looked up to” it’s okay for a change to be uninvolved, you won’t die if you don’t give advice or time to someone that might only cost you further. Learn to say no politely when you need to.
The key is to spend time with yourself.
It might often get boring alone for many that don’t like to be among the introverted ones who treasure ”alone time” but everyone should learn to enjoy their own company. Take time out to reflect, then pick a hobby that becomes your muse and find yourself grow through it as you practice daily. It can be anything, be it sports, writing, arts, singing, dance, whatever brings you peace and self-awareness along with a dash of adrenaline. Become that within those precious moments. You’ll not only feel lighter while developing a love for your own company but you’ll know you’re stronger, wiser and above all independent.
You’ll speak up for your wants and needs, peace but deliver them in a way you’re not confused or misunderstood. When you ask for time or when you have to say “no” do it in a manner that is polite. Try to be more emotionally intelligent, this way you won’t be dramatic but will deliver the message that most matters to you.
It might also inspire others to reflect on and understand his or her internal needs.
The YMT formula I.e. YOU MATTER TOO.
Giving yourself importance helps you treat others better too. It is a proven fact. As we tend to honor our time and space we respect it for others too. Becoming tuned in to yourself fully after a regular practice you’ll understand how much you matter and above all, you won’t look to others to fulfill you but you’ll begin with yourself.
We human beings may be dependent beings as we were born and created in pairs too, but with self-acceptance and self-reliance, we become stronger and saner individuals. Now, this does not mean we block people out of our lives, (but we will definitely learn of those that value our time and presence).
Inner peace = Outer peace.
As we have now witnessed and yet to pondered upon what inner conflicts we may be dealing with, don’t be afraid you’re not alone to have second thoughts about becoming one with yourself. Trust yourself and have faith. You are remarkably unique with your flaws.
Accept yourself and you’ll find yourself more patient and forgiving towards all those around you. Rescuing the world begins with rescuing yourself. And when you begin to do so, you’ll find yourself climbing the ladder of infinite success.